Friday 8 February 2013

Family Traits

When I saw the prompt “family traits” several things came to mind. Family traits: the pride that makes me so insecure and judgemental - the same I’ve seen in my Father. Family traits: my round cheeks and nose - inherited from my bohemian Grandmother. Family traits: the consideration that drives me to rethink the things I say 15 million times before I say them, trying to guess which version would make my target feel the most special or the least hurt - demonstrated to me by my Mother. Family traits: the things that a dear friend and psychology student argues are fixed in our lives; the things that come to mind whenever I read Exodus 20:5-6 “for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate Me, but showing mercy and steadfast love to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep My commandments.”
I don’t know exactly where I’m going here, and I’m not a student of the human psyche. I barely even know myself. But what I do know comes from the blood, sweat, and tears of honesty and bravery in relationships. I know that, if I can change the nose my grandma gave me, I can change the pride from my dad. I know that the hardest part is to find it, but once I do, I can move it. I know that what I move out of my house isn’t going to end up as a hand-me-down. Sometimes I feel like I did as a child when my parents asked me to clean up the attic - standing up there with the boxes of 15 years scattered and overflowing - totally overwhelmed, a little teary, and totally willing to be distracted. But I’m going to sort and organize. I’m going to move out the pride and fear and fill those places up with love and courage. I’m going to sweat and strain and not get distracted because that’s what I’m giving my son and daughter - I’m giving them a clean soul-attic full of treasure and strength.

Friday 1 February 2013

STC - Life Story

After a super long break the writing club is back. I feel SO out of practice. A forum of friend vs. feind is happening in my head right now, fighting it out if this is garbage or not. But I'll go ahead and post while I wait for the verdict. The prompt was to create a character then tell his/her story in 300 words or less. If you're interested, mine is 279. Enjoy.


-Foundations-
Right now I’m breathing and listening. Soon, it will be my turn to share an opinion. We’re currently discussing the ideals and limitations of a utopian society. I don’t know who thinks of these subjects, but I’m glad we walk while we talk. Flora and fauna seem to take the edge off. I don’t actually know how I (an irrational euphony aficionado) ended up in this (rather cerebral) research group, but the Lord must have known what he was doing. We’ve been together so long I can’t remember exactly when I joined but I love the little community we’ve formed. We’re all very different, but in a family kind of way. They say it takes a village to raise a child; I guess we’re all raising each other.


Now on the train, I’m missing the banter but glad to be off. I’m starting my “pilgrimage” today - they say everyone should take one at some point, and I felt a “coming of age” coming on. I’m surprised by how warm and comfortable my cabin is. The thud-THUD of the train is so soothing...


Thud-THUD thud-THUD... how long did I sleep? It’s pitch black in here... thud-THUD thud-THUD... oh there’s a light up ahead, must be a tunnel... thud-THUD thud-THUD... I hope it ends soon. This darkness is stifling!... thud-THUD thud-THUD... whoa. I just got crazy deja vu from the talk earlier, or did I dream that?... thud-THUD thud-THUD... I must have been sleeping really hard, my brain is feeling really fuzzy... thud-THUD thud-THUD... Where am I again?...


The thud-THUDing stopped. It just got really bright and really cold! My eyes aren’t focusing right. What the heck...

“It’s a girl!”